it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize