i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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