No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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