i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
