i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
