You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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