I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
