And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My ass is underappreciated
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
