yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
