i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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