I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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