I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
