do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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