I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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