so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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