I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
