Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize