Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
