I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize