She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
