biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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