I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
