I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
