i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
