My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This is not my ceiling
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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