Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
