no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
