Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I love black thongs
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
