So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
