I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
