I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
