Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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