if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
it was like having sex with a tree stump
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
