Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Sorry my hands just texted you
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
