It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize