Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I want to have your abortion
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
