Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
