Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
