we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
