They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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