i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize