honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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