hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
