uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
