I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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