Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
