she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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