And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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