9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
