why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
