Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
