I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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