I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
