The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It's never too late to be topless.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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