I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
