Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
