We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize