I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize