I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
